I don’t show my emotions much. Well not when I don’t want to. Otherwise it’s pretty easy for me to be sad or happy for the masses (namely my friends). Its pretty easy to make me happy. And likewise, its pretty damn easy to make me sad.
Ive been having massive mood swings lately. That results in me thinking about things that ill normally let pass. My latest dilemma is again, kinda stupid, but im going to write about it anyway.
So I had this friend. Let’s call her ‘Angelina’. The idea behind this alias is so random, I think my brain is stupid :|. So I’d been friends with Angelina my whole life. Well almost, if you count thirteen out of 20 years as the part of life that actually mattered. Sleepovers, gossip, sneak outs, phone conversations going on for hours at a time, endless complaining, studying for exams together, being the first text buddies when we got our first mobile phones, blah blah, you probably get the picture by now.
When Alevels started, there was this guy in the picture. Let’s call him Bobby. Mainly because 1, that’s what his friends called him to bug him* and 2, I don’t feel like being nice. He loved her, she didn’t care. They were really good friends however but she just didn’t like like him. So I hung out with them, solved their problems, convinced her to go out with him, talked to them both when they had a fight, and basically all my A levels revolved around them.
Then university started. Bobby was in the same university as me, but Angelina went to a different one. I was still friends with them and interceded when they had a fight but that happened less frequently now. Skipping to almost six months after university started, Bobby got into some university in England and at the airport when he was leaving, he confessed his undying love to her one more time and she realized it was the same for her and ta daaa. So filmy :’). But pretty cute nonetheless. Something they can tell their kids, maybe.
So all was well, I met her occasionally, talked to him on Facebook. All was well. I got up at 3a.m. to wish him a happy birthday at 12 his time. That’s the extent of our friendship and considering I always fall asleep and miss everyone’s birthday, that’s a big thing. When he came, we went out. Fun scene. We had a misunderstanding in the middle but even that got sorted cuz he said he missed me and I was all ‘aww’.
The trouble started when me and Angelina went through some shit and stopped talking really. She didn’t make an effort and I was done with trying to keep everyone happy so I didn’t either. My parents were oh so curious about the falling out but what could I tell them, or anyone who asked? There was no actual reason. A couple of misunderstandings, and the lack of effort to mend anything, on both our parts. That’s all there was to it.
Now he came back for a visit. I texted him a ‘welcome back’ but he didn’t reply. So the thing that’s bothering me is that does all that time not even warrant a decent reply? I told a mutual friend that this was bugging me. He says that because I’m not friends with his girlfriend anymore, so to speak, he wouldn’t reply.
It saddens the crap out of me.
Did the three years I spent being friends with him amount to this? Are all relationships conditional?
That mutual friend also says that i should stop doing anything for anyone and be a friend to only those who’re friends with me. Otherwise, forget about them and keep moving forward.
I dont get it.
*The names Bobby or Bijli are mostly associated with transgenders here. Not that i have anything against anyone at all 😐
socomfortablynumb 